Those wonderful creatures we call Teens

A few years back someone asked for my thoughts on teens, she wrote:

"Everywhere I go I find these wonderful creatures lethargic, depressed, listless and interested only in playing computer games and watching TV and DVDs. They seem to have lost all their confidence and other wonderful attributes. What is going on?"

My take: Some of this could be physical & hormonal, however some of this could also be due to a feeling of hopelessness (they don’t feel in control of their lives and they have no clear vision). And then some of it could be because their senses have been numbed by all the screen time.

The solutions?

Discuss screen time and the uses thereof. We too don’t have a TV but we do watch movies and have ADSL (albeit slow!). We have embraced technology as a learning tool. The boys do Game but they realize that it can become addictive and a time waster. In fact they’re writing Cambridge exams right now and have chosen to pack up their PC’s for a while to eliminate temptation – all by their own doing.

Awaken their senses. Make them aware of- and delight in simple pleasures. Take time to “smell the roses”… together.

Help them work out a schedule but then back-off. Don’t take control but also don’t interfere with the consequences of not following through. Allow them to sleep late but if they get behind on work they need to make a plan. Don’t extend deadlines, don’t cancel tutoring, don’t reschedule an exam. They need to deal with the real-life consequences even if it means going to ‘Varsity a year later than planned.

Encourage them to exercise & eat healthily. My one son has become a huge gym and parkour enthusiast, he’s become the family’s personal trainer. He has educated himself via the internet and has purchased all his equipment by himself through money he’s made doing various jobs.

And that is another key to make them feel less out of control: Let them work, be supportive and help find job opportunities so that they can earn an income and realize a few short term goals and live a few dreams. We live in the country with limited opportunities it would seem, but our boys have become resourceful. They are instructors at an outdoor adventure centre, they do the lights and sound for our local theatre, they house-sit, they teach Phys Ed & Art at a rural school and they save every cent they make. Our creative self-taught musician (some of it learnt via the internet) has bought most of his music instruments & equipment by himself in this way. Our PC enthusiast was not satisfied with his ancient PC and upgraded all by himself. He has since purchased and downloaded programmes to write music and edit photos & videos with. He entered a photographic competition and won his category and also recently entered a Young Movie Maker Competition. Lately he’s been writing music electronically. The Gymer is also an enthusiastic fisherman. He bought his own new bass rod and is making lures from recycled material that actually work! He’s now looking into marketing them for use and decoration in box frames. His dad does not enjoy fishing but he found himself a mentor in a dear 60yo family- and homeschool friend. Bottom line: They have all discovered their passions (many via the internet) and we fuel it as best we can by listening, watching and giving our input. We cannot finance most of it but we don’t squelch their enthusiasm either, instead we try to find more ideas from our side (in the same vein) that might further encourage their creativity. We don’t complain when we have to drive some way to support someone, drop someone off or buy something for the specific hobby. In this way we convey that it is, they are, important to us. This gives them vision and gets them motivated to get up and enthusiastically get on with life. I am totally hands-off as far as our sons’ schooling goes. They have tutors for a few subjects but otherwise they are very much on their own & self-driven.

Finally, it’s important to set the right example and to live what you speak. Don’t spend all your waking time on the PC if they are not allowed to. Be entrepreneural, take risks. Share your passions, your dreams and make them happen. Learn new things, find mentors and most importantly openly delight in simple pleasures!


Written & published in response to an enquiry on an Open Homeschooling Forum in 2011

Why Montessori?

I had a 70's and 80's public school experience, I've been exposed to the 21st century public school experience and we've had a 15 year homeschooling experience. We dabbled in literature based unit studies, we played with a variety of manipulatives, we made learning a lifestyle and we discovered the liberty of unschooling and here I am fiddling with Montessori. Why?

Well, to me it just stretches my knowledge and understanding of how (and why) we learn, practically, a little bit further. My unschooling frame of reference helps clarify many key Montessori principles. I know many people don't quite get it like I do because they have different experiences, a different point of departure.

Let me make it clear: Montessori is not about the didactic materials. Nor is it all about Cosmic Education.

Montessori is a way to unschool practically in a classroom environment and that's why I love it! Montessori has managed to get the world's attention, it's stamp of approval on unschooling, on natural child-led learning, on a successful method that is scientifically based and not just tradition-based.

Yes, I miss a stronger focus on literature and on imaginary play. And yes, Montessorians can get all "better-than-thou" elitist. They can withdraw from the debate on education, become separatists.  And they can get hung up on their didcatic materials and exactly how to present them and exactly how to use them. And they can lose sight of the fact that they should be the salt, the light in the communities that they live in. And they can forget the one that it is all about: the child. They can forget to  f o l l o w  the child. And all this would sadden Dr Montessori.

But I do love the respectful classroom management style and the ordered, beautiful environment. I love the fact that the prepared environment offers the children a variety of choices, that the teacher is simply a facilitator. I love the emphasis on the concrete-, the hands-on activities especially the sensorial and maths materials, and on nature.  I love that real life is very much a part of real learning.

And I love Maria Montessori's heart for the child.