Our Journey


As I write this my three sons (19, 17 and 17) are still at home, busy with their final Cambridge International Examinations. I'm desperately trying to live in the now, trying to share a few more experiences; to make a few more memories. I can feel the end of the season in the tightness of my throat, the burning of my eyes and the grateful proud swelling of my heart, as I behold the everything that they are. All seasons have to end, but this one seems particularly hard, however I believe they are ready. Ready to face life in all its grandeur, its ruthlessness, its beauty and it's harshness. They are ready to grab it, wrestle with it, squeeze every opportunity out of it and to sit back and savour it. We've taught them well. Life has taught them well - the school of life.


We were considered one of the pioneering homeschool families in the Eastern Cape. One of the handful that choose to keep our children home from the start, not because there were no good schools close by or because they had some special challenges or needs, but because we wanted to.


We wanted to nurture them, raise them, build their character, their self-esteem. We wanted them to know right from wrong; good from evil, our worldview.


We wanted to introduce them to the beauty of creation, to the wonders of the world. We wanted to encourage a love for learning and an appreciation for good books.


We wanted to give them time to have a glorious childhood filled with creative play, untainted by external pressures and expectations.  We wanted to help them discover their strengths, their passions and their destinies. We wanted them to dance to their own music.


And so we did. We read together, worked together, played together, made music and art together and prayed together. L.i.v.e.d. together, deliberately. And we talked, talked non-stop about everything. And as they learnt, I learnt.



I learnt that learning happens all the time, that children are naturally curious, that "why" is a wonderful word that unlocks worlds. I learnt that they loved being involved in day-to-day activities and chores, loved feeling big and important. I learnt that child-led play, hands-on exploration and concrete experiences far surpass hours of filling out workbooks or playing on screens.




I learnt that often in the seemingly biggest chaos the most learning happened, that when I had nothing printed on paper to show, they had it imprinted on their hearts and in their minds. I learnt to carefully observe, to follow cues, to grab teachable moments, to control less and to trust more. I learnt that freedom within boundaries worked best.


I learnt to spend school fees not only on educational toys and at books sales, but also at hardware- and second hand stores. I learnt that reading aloud built vocabulary, imagination and relationship. That it tuned their ears to good writing and paved the way for their own writing. I learnt that consolidation happened in castles and forts. I learnt that not all children learn to read phonetically. I learnt that sometimes it's best not to even pick up a maths book for a month or more. I learn't that Grades and spelling don't count, that questioning, analysing, interpreting and expressing oneself does. I learnt that tests don't reflect what one has learnt, but that deep conversations deep into the night do. I learnt that reading happily, independently can sometimes only happen in the early teen years. I learnt that ADD is real and that Ritalin does work. I learnt that teens want to feel in control, that they don't need my meddling, just a purpose, a goal, and that they can function at 2 o'clock in the morning. I learnt that they can be totally self driven and organised, go through intense focused spurts of learning and intense focused spurts of playing. I learnt that teens aren't lazy if their day only starts at 11am. And I learnt that age does not determine when you're ready for something or to learn something and that the "average child" is the figment of someone's imagination.



And they learnt how to drive a tractor, change a flat tyre, read a compass, service a car, play golf, mow the lawn, use a bow and arrow, prune roses, abseil, plant seedlings, fish, paint a roof, do back-flips, deliver kittens, use a rifle, blanket horses, change plugs, knit scarves, bake carrot cake, play chess, knead wraps, compose music, cook lasagne, build a computer, assemble salads, play poker, use a washing machine, a sewing machine and a welding machine.



While I learn't that the beach was a good place to spend the day when everything fell apart. That I didn't have to know it all, that I couldn't be it all and do it all. I learnt that sometimes all I had to do was facilitate, that mentors were valuable, that isolation was not good and that special friendships, for all, took time and nurturing. I learnt that relationship was key. That it was more important than a tidy house, a ticked To-Do-List or a completed worksheet.


They learnt how to find information, how to identify the important bits, how to internalize and assimilate it, how to pace themselves, to have self-discipline, to persevere. And they learnt the art of writing exams and how to excel.


But they also learnt how to listen, really l.i.s.t.e.n. to music and appreciate art. They learnt how to ballroom dance, to treat a girl and they learnt that all choices have consequences. They learnt how to deal with disappointment, to be resourceful, to be grateful and how to work and save their money. They learnt how to focus, to find beauty and perspective - to see with the eye of the Creator. And they have learnt that life is eternal.







And I have learnt to hear the dreams, to see the clues, to map the paths and to walk beside them, not to push or pull them. I have learnt to have faith, to flee from fear and to hold tight to the original visions for their futures. And I am learning to let go.

9 comments:

  1. Beautiful...I too have a 17 year old son doing Cambridge finals now :)

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  2. Oh, how this makes me cry - happy tears! To see your journey unfolded before our eyes: priceless! I'm still in the thick of our journey, with our eldest at 10 and the youngest at 4, but I can imagine that the next 10 years will fly by in no time. How incredibly encouraging to read your story and know that these are the footsteps in which we follow. Thank you SO much for sharing *your* journey!

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  3. So inspiring... thank you.

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  4. What a beautiful read...such a reminder to enjoy every precious minute with my children.

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  5. What I loved about home schooling is that it taught me about life as well as reading, writing and 'rithmitic. You've captured that so well in this post :)

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  6. Thank you, thank you, thank you for these life-giving words! As I read this I am humbled, inspired, and encouraged in our own journey of home education. Well done, you awesome, amazing mother!!Xxx

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  7. Beautiful. Made me teary too. So encouraging when my house is full of little ones and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Thank you!

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  8. man, got me teary eyed, good piece of writing full of impartation. loved it!

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  9. WOW! Thank you so much for sharing! It is the second confirmation in two weeks that Ive been and am on the right track even though I thought I was loosing my marbles. Thank you again. I have three teens and one "baby" 9y and this is such an encouragement, bless you for sharing and it is also very well written, tears, lots of them :-)

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